Thursday, November 6, 2008

Good Day for All (all but the gay community)

Tues was an emotional day, and difficult to explain to a 3.75 yr old. I felt it important to bring my girls with me to vote, just as my parents did when i was a kid. As a kid, i grew up watching my parents be politically involved. I remember going to the local VFW with my parents to vote and getting a red sticker and although the sticker was truly the highlight, i got the idea something more important was happening. I tried, and couldn't quite understand the idea of republican (reagan) and democrat (mondale). My parents threw fundraising parties for local candidates at our house, and wrote letters to politicians when they saw inequities in our community. My mother was a personal friend of wellstone and although she didn't always agree with him, she showed me the importance of keeping him aware of her point of view as a nurse for the underserved.

I brought my girls with me to vote and explained the process to amelie, with hopes that this memory will be imprinted in her long term. Amelie helped me make sure the circles were filled in completely. I looked at her and said, "Remember this, Amelie." It may be too much to ask a small child, but i hope she can tell her children one day that she watched her mother vote for the first black president.

I was glad to be surrounded by friends to watch the results roll in tues night, and amused it was jon stewart who informed us obama won. The tears and champagne flowed freely.

Although i'm thrilled obama won, i'm a bit troubled by the added challenges for the GLBT community. I am surprised CA voted to overturn gay marriage (AZ and FL doesn't surprise me as much). I have 3 problems with this:
  1. If i would have known god was involved in my marriage, i have a feeling my athiest husband would not be on board to get married. God was not mentioned in our ceremony and it was not performed in a church. Many weddings are performed in this manner, and much to right-winged religious zelots' disappointment, religion has nothing to do with the urge to be in a commited monogamous relationship.
  2. Who cares where the wedding took place--MA, CA, australia or the shitsplat, nowhere in the middle of the deserts of arabia. When my husband and i returned from australia married, nobody asked for our wedding certificate or any proof at all. We just started telling people (DMV, insurance co, employer, etc). Nobody batted an eyelash. When immigrants came to the hospital to have a baby, we don't ask them for proof when they fill out the birth certificate--i told them to just mark "married," and they're golden.
  3. Who cares if gay people get married? Does it really affect your god and your life? Does it defame your commitment to your spouse? Does it really mean your commitment that you made with your loved one with god, pastor, justice, whatever, means anything less? The answer is no. If you really think that the fact gay people can get married will all-of-the-sudden make you want to cheat on your spouse or question your commitment, i think it's a reflection of you. Not gay people. (PS: Divorce rates in heteros isn't necessarily a shining example of the respect "we" (we=heteros) have for marriage.)


Scooter said...

Does it mean less if your brother is the one joining two people in holy matrimony? I figure if I'm capable of marrying people, the institution doesn't really have any sort of an exclusivity clause to stand on.

Mama Nabi said...

I laughed when my ex gave me the whole god reason... 'Yeah... remember where WE got married? Vegas? HELLO? There was no god. Just us two, a cranky French dude with license to marry, and an eager limo chauffer.'

Retro Girl said...

I agree - I have no idea why so many people who are not gay and have nothing to do with the gay community care so much about whether two people can marry or not. It doesn't affect their life--doesn't prevent them from working, eating, having shelter, a why are people obsessed with it? Perhaps because they have nothing else to focus on in their own lives?

I think after taking a huge step forward, with the election...this country is allowing CA to take us a Huge step backward, in overthrowing their earlier decision. I think all humans have the right to love and be loved....and to validate their relationship in the way they see fit.

Found your blog via Korean adoption link. :-) We're adopting also.

Sorry just had to add my 10 cents. lol.

LissyJo said...

Thanks for the comments. I'm surprised your ex gave you the god lecture, MN. I really didn't see that coming.

RG: You might be interested to know other states made it illegal for gays and lesbians adopt or be foster parents (what states?). I think the chinese govt decided to not let gays and lesbians adopt their girls, but to cut off foster parents too was a bit of a surprise. It reminds me of the at 30 days episode (remember it?)