Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Ironically, the night before we told her, Amelie asked what happened to Mr. Burns (our old cat that died when amelie was 1). I lied and told her Mr. Burns was very old, and when you're very old, you die (he was actually hit by a car). She asked me, "Older than me?" "Yes, older than you." She continues,"Older than you?" "Yes, older than me." She asks, "Why do we die?" Again, i lied, "We die when we get very very old. That's why." She didn't look entirely convinced, but let me off the hook.
The next morning, we were all snuggled in bed and i told amelie, "Remember last night when we were talking about mr. burns and how he died? Well, Gato died last night" (again with the lies). Amelie paused, and asked, "Where is she?" I replied, "She's dead." Amelie processes some more and asks, "But where is she?" I stammer, and come up with, "She's all gone because she's dead." Amelie persists,"Where is she?" My athiest engineer husband says, "But her spirit lives on, amelie. With Mr. Burns, and Baily, and Booty, and CD" (all our childhood dead animals). As amelie is asking him about "spirit," i look at him with a WTF-are-you-doing face--and he responds by shrugging and saying to me, "You gotta take it from here, i'm not sure where to go with this."
I told her i felt sad that Gato was dead, but it would make me feel better to share our favorite memory of Gato. I started to tell amelie about the day I got Gato as a kitten, and amlie rudely interrupted with "READ. ME. This book!" I said, "Don't you want to share stories--" "NO!"
That was a week ago, and amelie didn't bring it up again, nor did she seem sad. This morning, she told me, "When we're bigger than me or you, we go to Egypt." I asked her, "Um, what?" She said, "Gato and Booty and Mr. Burns are in Egypt and we'll go there too when we're bigger."
I'm not sure where we went wrong with the lesson about death. While we avoided fears about going to sleep or getting buried out in the cold, we may have started a fear about Egypt.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
And the girls made out like bandits. Amelie spent an afternoon with my parents and they asked her what she wanted for xmas. She told them a princess wand and ice skates--and my parents delivered. As her and i were walking home on xmas day from ice skating, amelie asked me, "Santa didn't listen." I asked her what she meant. She said, "Santa didn't bring me what i asked for. But grandma and grandpa did."And below is a video of my brother playing a little post-fondu wii. Doesn't he look special?
Friday, December 19, 2008
Gato lead an interesting life--i got her from a friend in high school as a kitten and because we lived in the country, she quickly became an outdoor cat and my father insisted i teach her how to 'hunt,' by giving me a coffee can full of rat babies and telling me, "You're her mother, teach her how to hunt." At age 16, i was pretty mortified, but managed to give her a lesson that stuck. She endured a few years in arizona with my parents when i went to college and i took her back after they called her 'coyote bait' one too many times. She would bring me dead rats and birds to the doorstep often. In her later years, she served as a great cuddler, and the girls really loved to crawl and tug and pull at her.
She will be missed.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
In one year, she has accomplished crawling, standing for short periods of time without help, cruising, showing us how big she is, peekaboo, itsy bitsy spider motions, signing "more" and "all done," and saying the following words: eye, mooo, mamamama, dada.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Hmmm....I'm tempted. You've been warned.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
After graduation, there was a clip of my closest friends and relatives duct taping me to a tree and stuffing ice down the back of my shirt. My daughter was especially concerned to see this snuff video. Questions and comments included, "It's not nice to tape people to a tree." "Why is uncle scott laughing?" "Doesn't that hurt?" "I'm not supposed to tape my sister to the tree."
Sunday, November 30, 2008
The pictures attached are the masks she made for the family. The baby was not available for this photo (she was napping), and the hubs was at the urgent care because he has a cough and fever that hasn't responded to the first run antibiotics. You can tell who is 'daddy' because of the purple beard--he is participating in 'no shave november' for work-related charity. And you can see which one is baby because she is has her tongue hanging out--an observation amelie made about the baby.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
As soon as amelie's ears cleared up, she came home with a fever, and a miserable night and woke up last w/e with a rash. Because i know my childhood fever rashes so well (ah hem), i diagnosed her with coxackie virus and let it be. Then her day care told me that 3 kids came down with the chicken pox. Although amelie was vaccinated, it is possible to come down with a milder infection, and because the baby has not yet been vaccinated, i worried about her exposure. So, worry i did. Should i bring amelie in? Have them culture her lesions? Draw blood and see if it truly is coxackie? Fret, fret, fret (it's what i do).
After consulting 3 pediatricians that i work with, a nurse practitioner, who is my friend and amelie's own pediatrician, i have come to the conclusion that it was probably coxackie and either way, it has come and gone and she's fine.
Also, the girls' father has had a cough >2 weeks, and pertussis is running wild in this community.
And so, the baby goes back on antibiotics (and perhaps some lactobacillus this time), and i'll watch for signs of chicken pox. Amelie seems to have recovered, even though people are wary of her healing rash. And the hubs? He thinks i give all my empathy to my patients and have none left for my family. He might be right.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Song over lunch:
Yet another version
Thursday, November 6, 2008
I brought my girls with me to vote and explained the process to amelie, with hopes that this memory will be imprinted in her long term. Amelie helped me make sure the circles were filled in completely. I looked at her and said, "Remember this, Amelie." It may be too much to ask a small child, but i hope she can tell her children one day that she watched her mother vote for the first black president.
I was glad to be surrounded by friends to watch the results roll in tues night, and amused it was jon stewart who informed us obama won. The tears and champagne flowed freely.
Although i'm thrilled obama won, i'm a bit troubled by the added challenges for the GLBT community. I am surprised CA voted to overturn gay marriage (AZ and FL doesn't surprise me as much). I have 3 problems with this:
- If i would have known god was involved in my marriage, i have a feeling my athiest husband would not be on board to get married. God was not mentioned in our ceremony and it was not performed in a church. Many weddings are performed in this manner, and much to right-winged religious zelots' disappointment, religion has nothing to do with the urge to be in a commited monogamous relationship.
- Who cares where the wedding took place--MA, CA, australia or the shitsplat, nowhere in the middle of the deserts of arabia. When my husband and i returned from australia married, nobody asked for our wedding certificate or any proof at all. We just started telling people (DMV, insurance co, employer, etc). Nobody batted an eyelash. When immigrants came to the hospital to have a baby, we don't ask them for proof when they fill out the birth certificate--i told them to just mark "married," and they're golden.
- Who cares if gay people get married? Does it really affect your god and your life? Does it defame your commitment to your spouse? Does it really mean your commitment that you made with your loved one with god, pastor, justice, whatever, means anything less? The answer is no. If you really think that the fact gay people can get married will all-of-the-sudden make you want to cheat on your spouse or question your commitment, i think it's a reflection of you. Not gay people. (PS: Divorce rates in heteros isn't necessarily a shining example of the respect "we" (we=heteros) have for marriage.)
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
I hear people who express frustration as tues approaches, and are leaning towards not voting. My grandmother of 93, feels frustrated her state only carries 2 electoral votes, and has decided to not vote. My coworkers who are sick of all politicians and negative adverts, who will 'protest' by not voting. Others i've heard who are unaware of which nominee best stands for their political stance.
Women have voted for 88 years--within my grandmother's lifespan. The Voting Rights Act was passed a mere 43 years ago, allowing a vast increase in the african-american vote. It was only in 1971 that people 18-21 yrs old could vote, seeming only fair in that we were asking for their lives as they were drafted to vietnam. We are currently in 2 wars to 'create' a democratic state, including a voting process.
It seems crass to me that people can be so flippant about voting. Our fathers (and mothers) have fought hard to get the right to vote. It is not only our right, it is our responsibility. It is our responsibility to listen to the issues and pay attention and make an educated decision. It is a way to be pro-american and patriotic. To not vote is disrespectful to those who have fought so hard so that we can. I see voting as my license to complain about the current state of the union!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Although this plan was created by certified crazies that even the typical republican would condemn (they would, right?), i do fear for the safety of obama. I'm afraid an attempt to take his life would not only be a horrible tragedy, but it would also spark an awful race war.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
And so when i heard NKOTB were touring again, i felt uneasy. Seeing all the now 30-something year old white women swoon for NKOTB brought it all back.
Then my brother won suite txts for me and a friend. And with reluctance, i went to their concert last night.
We started the night at the Liffy--my intentions were to get a good buzz going to be able to stomach these feelings of inadequacy from years ago come rushing back to me. It was bursting at the seems with 30 something yr old women, some dressed circa 1989, all a chatter with excitement. I looked around feeling 12 again.
Before the concert began, Jordan invited us to text them and the text would be shot up on the big screen while they got the stage ready. Typical texts said, "We've been waiting 15 years! We totally love yoU!!!!'" and "Jordan, will U marry me??? OMG!!!" We tried to text, "NKOTB wants you to vote Obama," but we were too old to figure out how the hell to text.
The concert was almost exactly the same as the one i saw at the met so many years ago. Same songs, same synchronized dancing, same wind blown open shirt solos. There was a random photo montage of very random people who have died on the big screen--including heath ledger (seriously. Random). And a very strange song with a very whorish woman dancing in the middle of their new kids circle with lots of tight crotch shots up on the big screen. And there was a moment when donnie (ah hem, my favorite) cried (shot: Tear streaming down cheek) because he was so overwhelmed by our...loudness.
At one point, one of them commented that a lot has changed in 15 years, and suggested perhaps 15 years was too long. To which, our small group yelled, "NOPE. We're good with 15 years." He then told the crowd that 2 things he has noticed in 15 years is that we can all drink now (seriously. Lots and LOTS of drunk women), and some of 'us' had bulging bellies we were rubbing. To this, one of our small group yelled, "ACTUALLY, we're just older and fatter now!!!" And then, he asked us to go home and give our husbands 15 years "worth of loving," you know, after having seen NKOTB tonight. Most of the crowd cheered at this suggestion; Our small group looked at each other in disgust.
With hesitation, i say overall a good time was had by all. I was surprised how the songs brought back some of the bad inadequate feelings i had in middle school, but some of the good as well (giggling with good friends).
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Since obama announced his presidential intentions, everyone has been talking about race. I scoffed at the idea that it made much difference. Initially, i thought obama being black just didn't matter to people of my generation. My parents, who remember the civil rights movement, and others of their age might be more aware of the fact he is black--like it or not.
What i've come to realize as the weeks have gone by is that obama being black might make a bigger difference that i had initially thought. People generally know it's not right to be racist. But have these two women i overheard ever trusted a black man? Do they know any black men? The bradley effect ("I'm not racist. I'll vote for the right guy. Hell if i vote for a black man, though.")has been referenced to suggest the election will be closer than expected.
The debate last night was good. They had time to debate and point out the weaknesses in each other's plans. Unfortunately, mccain spent much of the time on attack and had some low blows (who the hell cared about ayers??) and instead of drastically changing the direction of his campaign, he appeared angry and desperate. And talk about biting the tongue--obama's response to "Do you think she's qualified?" was cordial and respectful.
My brother has a very funny (er, scary) post about a conspiracy theory re: obama.
Later that day, she was playing with her baby sister and the baby was taking her things. She said, "No, baby. Don't touch that, baby. Baby! BABY! CHEESES!" I looked at her and told her to calm down....and what does "cheeses" mean? She told me that's what you say when you get a little frustrated.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
At a rally held here in MN, mccain interrupted a woman who called obama an arab. Mccain corrected the woman saying, "No ma'am. Obama is a decent family man." Um. Is this opposite of being an arab? How can being arab be equivilant to being a terrorist or liar? It frightens me that we have created this fear of cultural differences.
The sh*t throwing in the last few weeks of the campaign isn't pretty, and it certainly hasn't brought out the best in the candidates, but the bigger ugly is what it's brought out in americans.
We are way beyond asking for respect.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Did anyone else get a little freaked out by that lady behind obama? The one with the eyes, smirking? Very distracting.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
And don't even get me started on the fact that she is so anti choice and anti-sex education--yet has a knocked up unmarried daughter. You want to preach 'values,' and spout that you don't need sex ed in schools because that is a conversation for the home--and look what happens?? And now you're forcing these teenagers to get married (is it better to marry shot-gun style than be divorced?). And, by the way, this conversation doesn't need to talk about abortion--let's just talk about education and how to avoid abortion. I think we can all agree to that (but apparently not).
I'm really trying to understand the economic debacle. What i don't understand is why the senate tacked on these random earmarks to get the house to pass it. One of the analysts on news hour called it a "pinata of ridiculousness." It's a shame that this is the way wellstone's mental health parity act gets signed into law. It doesn't really celebrate the passing of this bill. It all feels sort of like a sad poker game.
The above photo is at the pie shop on top of mt lemmon. Really good pie.
And here is the pool with my daugther exhibiting her straddle jump.
Speaking of straddle jumps, my daughter (let's call her AMS?) started gymnastics at my alma mater, which, while at university, i participated in the gymnastics team for one year. Very strange experience--although the gym is in a new building since i was there, it's headed up by the same coach and one of the coaches was on the team when i was on the team. Brings back memories.
Speaking of memories, we went to the cabin last weekend to winterize it. AMS was playing with an old tape recorder i had as a kid that had the original recordable tape inside. We taught her how to play, rewind and record on the tape. As we listened to her new recordings, you could hear my old recordings of songs from the radio (feliz navidad, blue christmas) and chirps of my own child-sized voice. We have done plenty of video recordings of the kids, but somehow the cassette recording of AMS (and me) singing seems more real.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
We went to the cabin for the 1st time of the season and did a myriad of chores to open it up for the summer. I used to be ambivalent about the cabin as a tweenager (nothing like going to the cabin, hanging with the 'rents), but the older i get, the more i appreciate it. I love showing the kids cabin stuff: picking rocks, swimming, jumping off the boat, roasting marshmallows, etc, etc.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Yes, the baby was with us--proof is below. As we crossed this river, the 3 yr old amused the locals by yelling, "LOOK, mom! The river is green?!"
Overall a successful trip. The 3 yr old was a roller coaster of emotion--quickly oscillating between laughing maniacally or crying in a whiny fit. The 3 yr old amused fellow bus riders on our way back to the heart of the city from lincoln park by looking out the window and yelling, "It's Lake Michigan, mom!!" I agreed with her observation proudly, thinking everyone loves an inquisitive and excited child. Then my inquisitive daughter started laughing and pointing at a gentleman with cornrows, saying, "His hair is SILLY, mom!" At this point, i tried to hush her natural curiosity.
The field museum was excellent. The exhibit about egyptian pyramids and mummies lead to difficult questions from the 3 yr old. "Why are they mummies? What does 'buried' mean? Why are they dead? How can i be buried?" We went to another exhibit that chronicals the evolution of the world including mass extinctions, which lead to questions like, "Where are the dinosaurs? Why are they gone? What happened? Why did the dinosaurs' teeth fall out?" The last question stems from my daughter's trauma from watching us play the wii at my brother's house--a game where you pick worms out of the teeth. Watching this, along with hearing about her cousin's teeth falling out lead to a fear of tooth-related trauma.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Yesterday she asked me, "Mom? Know what i want to be when i grow up?" She used to want to be a nurse practitioner like her mother and her grandmother, so i was prepared for her to tell me this again. Instead, she horrified me by telling me, "I want to be a princess when i grow up!" It was like she told me she wanted to join the army. I tried not to react too much and told her, "If you want to be a princess when you grow up, you have to go to university and get a masters degree and learn french." I continued to inform her that the princesses she so much loves all have doctorates in science and they all are fluent in a 2nd language.
And yesterday, my husband heard a clip about a chinese policewoman who is breastfeeding 8 orphaned infants.
Speaking of orphans, I have been playing songs from the movie Annie (1982) on youtube to play for my 3 yr old. As a kid, it was my favorite movie. We had the movie, the soundtrack, the piano music, etc, etc. As i listened to the lyrics of the song Maybe 20 years later, i couldn't help but cringe. She speaks of how her parents are going on with life and "...their one mistake was giving up me." I'm not exactly sure how to explain what the song is about to my 3 yr old; I can't imagine the explanation that came from my parents. I think about the songs from this movie fondly, but as an adult as i'm hearing them again, i can't help but be a little sad about it. It might be obvious as to why i attached myself to the movie as a child, but now that i am a mother, i can't help but think it must have been sad for my own parents. I'm not sure what they said, but obviously it didn't damage me because i still think fondly of the songs and the movie.
Speaking of movies, we signed up for netflix and have been catching up on movies we haven't seen in the past 3 years. We watched the documentary End of Suburbia, which was depressing. Mostly, the movie speaks of how we have reached the peak of all available oil in our earth and we have to think of alternative energy now. Or yesterday. It makes me think about how i will shock and disgust my future grandchildren with stories of how i drive 20 miles to work and how i used to drive a gas-guzzling truck to school (even though there was mass transit available) and how i used to buy groceries that contained mostly food products grown miles and miles away from where i live. My grandchildren will tell me, "Wow, grannie! You used to be so wasteful, it's tragic."
*sigh* Must do more. Must drive less. Must join CSA (did that!). Must waste less.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Because my daughters are napping at the same time (!), and my body is too sore to go on the bike trainer, i meme.
In my life, I have ….
(X) smoked a cigarette
(X) crashed a car (hey, did that just 2 weeks ago!)
(X) got drunk with a good friend
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
( ) been dumped
(X) shoplifted. Yeah, yeah, scooter. I shoplifted a happy birthday card and pin saying something like "Spank me, it's my birthday!" for Ray Kreevoy, mom's friend.
(X) been fired. From freakin' don pablos for serving alcohol to someone who forgot their id. They called me back 3 months later and apologized and offered my job back. Wish i could say i preserved my dignity and said no....
(X) been in a fist fight. Nobody calls me "chinky chinky chinaman" and gets away with it!
( ) snuck out of my parent’s house
( X) been arrested. After shoplifting. By my brother's friend.
( ) gone on a blind date
(X) skipped school. With approval from my parents.
( X) seen someone die
(X) been to Canada
(X) been to Mexico
(X) been on a plane
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire. Who says 'X' to this one??
(X) eaten Sushi
(X) been skiing
(X) been moshing at a concert. Moshing to alanis morrisette, baby!
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) lay on my back and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) made a snow angel
(X) flown a kite
(X) built a sand castle
(X) gone puddle jumping. Like, in a small plane? Yes.
(X) played dress up
(X) jumped into a pile of leaves. We used to have a huge yard, i would gather them up and practice doing flips/gymnastics into them. Fun fun!
(X) gone sledding
(X) cheated while playing a game. I used to all the time with my brothers, but they would still win. Damn it!
(X) been lonely
(X) fallen asleep at work/school.
( ) used a fake id
(X) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(X) touched a snake
( ) slept beneath the stars
(X) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(X) been misunderstood
(X) pet a goat
(X) won a contest. Um, a hula hoop contest, baby!
(X) run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
(X) been in a car accident
( X) had braces
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night [try in one sitting]
(X) had deja vu. Let me clarify, it was deja vu, as in: "It feels like i've had this experience before." Not deja vu like "I'm having a psychic moment," as my brother explains in his meme.
(X) danced in the moonlight
(X) liked the way I look
(X) witnessed a crime
(X) questioned my heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
(X) squished barefoot through the mud
(X) been lost
(X) been to the opposite side of the country
(X) swum in the ocean
( ) felt like dying
(X) cried myself to sleep
(X) played cops and robbers
(X ) recently colored with crayons
(X) sung karaoke. For the first time in korea. It's true what they say: Koreans do have pretty singing voices.
(X) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) done something I told myself I wouldn’t
(X) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose
(X) caught a snowflake on my tongue
(X) danced in the rain
(X) written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) been kissed under a mistletoe
(X) watched the sun rise with someone I care about
(X) blown bubbles
(X) made a bonfire on the beach
(X) crashed a party
(X) gone roller-skating
(X) had a wish come true
(X) worn pearls
(X) jumped off a bridge. Illegally bungee jumped in california!
(X) ate dog/cat food. Mmm...tender vittels
( ) told a complete stranger I loved them
(X) kissed a mirror
(X) sung in the shower
(X) had a dream that I married someone
(X) glued my hand to something
( ) got my tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(X) sat on a roof top
(X) screamed at the top of my lungs
(X) done a one-handed cartwheel. Try NO handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(X) stayed up all night
( ) didn’t take a shower for a week
(X) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(X) climbed a tree
(X) had a tree house
(X) been scared to watch scary movies alone
(...) believe in ghosts. Unsure...but *love* hearing peoples ghost stories.
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
(X) gone streaking
(X) gone doorbell ditching
( ) played chicken
(X) jumped into a pool/hot tub/lake with all my clothes on
(X) been told I’m hot by a complete stranger
(X) broken a bone
(X) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(X) caught a butterfly
(X) laughed so hard I cried
( ) cried so hard I laughed
(X) cheated on a test
( ) owned a Britney Spears CD
(X) forgotten someone’s name
(X) French-braided someone’s hair
(X) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) been threatened to be kicked out of my house
( ) been kicked out my house
(X) had a fantasy over someone I love as a good friend
(X) sun-tanned naked
( ) ran naked in the rain
I am used to being a strong athlete. I enjoy physical challenge and am used to being one of the strongest, quick to pick up the steps in an aerobics class. But when i went back to the gym last week, i felt lost, hot, weak and old. After 20 minutes of the too-loud music and huffing and puffing, i had to excuse myself because i thought i was going to faint. Seriously. Once i returned, i couldn't follow the complicated step work. I had to be that person...the one who just marches in place until they catch their breath and can follow allong. I used to secretly laugh at that person. And here i am.
And the day after (and day after that) was extremely painful. I used to enjoy feeling sore after a good work out. It was a satisfying feeling of being sore--feeling my muscles grow and stretch. But after going back to the gym last week, my muscles were stiff and angry.
I've gone back since then and hope it gets easier.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
3 yr old, coloring: "He's a little boy and he is soooooo dead."
Me: "He's what?"
her: "He ate a potato and it made him so dead."
her: "When you eat a potato it makes you dead."
Happy easter, you've been warned!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
In one area, you are allowed to pet and feed the kangaroos with the following instructions.
Here's the joey moving around inside:
Brisbane has a lovely public swimming area with a great view of the city and the river.
Brisbane is just north enough that it's tropical. We passed many banana and sugar cane fields on the way. We saw lizards like the one below everywhere we went in the city.
...and then we flew home! It was my fifth visit to australia and it's always bitter sweet leaving. Perhaps one day i can convince my husband to live there.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
She has survived her first few days in day care. Due to bad planning, we returned from oz on friday evening and i started back at work on monday. It's been going well. Her first day, i told the teacher she tends to be high needs and likes to be held and hasn't really fallen asleep without being nursed or held. I also left enough breastmilk to feed the whole center. During my one of 3 check in calls/emails during the day, the teacher told me she would describe the baby as "easy going." Surely they were describing the wrong baby.
Being back at work has been a good thing. I really enjoy what i do and it hasn't been as traumatic as i had expected.
3 y.o examines grandad: ".......yellow?"
They also have a trampoline. I'm not sure who jumped more on it--my daughter or me. I think i kicked the kids off it several times--shameless.
Here's the 3 yr old with our friends demolishing a gingerbread cake filled with smarties made by her grandad for her bday. We didn't know grandad knew how to make gingerbread houses. It's amazing what grandchildren will make you do.
Here are the children of our friends who adored the baby. They loved holding the baby, looking at the baby and touching the baby. And, by god, if they touched the baby, the toddler touched the baby.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Um. Was he on claritin? Antibiotics? No, no. We all know he was on some sort of medication for a mental illness. But is it generally known that he was probably on an antipsychotic? A medication for schizophrenia or bipolar disorder? We're not talking prozac or wellbutrin. I believe this contributes to the false beliefs many people have about medications used for depression and anxiety. Some people i see in clinic are reluctant to take medication for their anxiety/depression because, by god, they don't feel like they want to shoot up a school or anything. They aren't *that* crazy. All they have is a sleep issue. If i'd just prescribe some sleep aids for them, they'd be just fine! insert sarcasm.
Friday, February 15, 2008
She enjoys being held and being rocked side to side. She especially likes her head to bob a little as if she is casually shaking her head "no." Two nights ago, it was 4am and i couldn't get her to sleep, so i gently rocked her and allowed her to shake her head, which lulled her to sleep. As i watched her drift off, i was curious why this motion was so soothing to her. So i slowly lulled my head back and forth. Then it occured to me: This is what crazy people do. They shake their head to see what it feels like.
She had her 2 month visit and weighed in at a whopping 13 pounds 4 oz. That means she has gained almost a pound per week since she was born. No wonder she's so unsettled...It takes a lot of energy to grow so fast!
And now we prepare for the LissyJo family trip to australia. Can 2 adults carry 2 car seats, 2 strollers, 2 large backpacks, a diaper bag, and the toddler's bag? OH and 2 small children? Doubtful. How exasperated do us adults have to look and how cute do the gils have to look to get a helping hand? Stay tuned....i'll be sure to let you know.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I was happily surprised to hear obama won in mn, even though "they" couldn't hear my argument because i was working. After hearing about this video on youtube on npr, i watched it with my daughter watching. She asked who 'that man' was. I told her it was obama--our next president and as i tried to explain why he keeps saying 'yes we can,' i became teary thinking of how much our country needs change (don't laugh..i blame hormones). It seems obama's talent is raising hope in our exasperated country and i hope that when he is elected, our country doesn't turn on him when he can't immediately change the massive f*ck up bush has created.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Watching this episode was like watching a car accident. It mostly made me sad about the show overlooking the complete adoption story, which might not be as sweet and tidy as portrayed. I was especially curious about the access to the birthmother. It seemed the adoptive parents were recieving most of their direction about baby cares from the orphanage manager instead of the birth mother. Does the agency keep them separated? Is it usual for the adoptive parents to meet the birth mother? What exactly are the circumstances surrounding this adoption and her "choice" to adopt out?
Speaking of sad adoption stories, did you see the story in the strib about the korean adoptee who found her birth family which included a twin sister? Her birthmother is terminally ill and drops the bomb on her daughter that she has a twin that she 'gave up' for adoption at birth and she'd like her to find her. And here that daughter is living in rural, minnesota. Damn.
Since then, i have picked up a handful of shifts and it's been good for us all. My husband has become quite saavy with both children. I have seen some interesting cases at urgent care. And i think i'm an easier person to be around. Additionally, i feel like i enjoy my family more. I am reminded of what a delicate balance it is to be away from your family just enough to enjoy them. I certainly wouldn't want to work full time--and i'm still a bit nervous about throwing the baby in daycare at 3 months, but working part-time is good for me, for my brain, for my children and for the family.
Indeed--The toddler is now a preschooler. She created her own guest list and although 3 families and her aunty couldn't come due to puking disease ("That's ok...you can keep those germs far far away."), there were plenty of people to create semi-child chaos. With all the chocolate and sugar and cake flying around the room, i reflected on her first bday when she hadn't had much processed sugar and definately hadn't had candy or chocolate. I had baked an all-fruit, sugar-free cake not only for the baby, but for guests. When i cleaned up the bowls from her 1st bday party, they all contained a full piece of cake with one small bit out of the corner.
This year, we got the cake from lunds and it was 3/4 frosting, 1/4 cake. My daughter didn't have much cake, but she loved the chocolate from the pinata. She has been enjoying the presents--although the biggest one from my parents is in storage. Don't get upset gma and gpa--it's snowing outside and even the italians don't ride their vespas out in the snow.
Friday, February 1, 2008
I have a friend who suggests this difference of view is due to age: babyboomers versus gen x (or y). The baby boomers spent their young adult years fighting against gender and race disparities and i thank them for fighting for equal rights and respect the strides they made. I am sure it is amazing to see how things have changed in their lifetime in regards to equality. But what they fought for is for me to look beyond color and gender when voting for the next president. The babyboomer news analysts and experts need to stop stuffing it down my throat. Yes i noticed she's a woman, but what does she think about the war? Yes, he is indeed black, but how will he fix health care?
Some are getting sick of the ramp up to the next election with the prolonged process of earlier primaries/caucuses, but i have to admit i am excited about it all. I think it has caused people who otherwise wouldn't be tuned in pay attention. I had become exhausted with mindless people who care more about their trip to walmart than current events--but i think the media's slutting of the primaries has caused people to tune in and be involved.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Although this is the case right now, I am aware of the world around me. I am amused that jon stewart is able to carry his show without writers (still very funny...what does that say about the contributions the writers were giving?). I am researching what exactly it means to caucus and why some states have caucuses versus primary elections. I have become more exasperated by the actions of sports heroes--especially since the majority of role models for children, intended or not, are off the wagon or retarded.
And tonight i return to work--only a 4 hour shift. I have moved from being worried about what the baby will do with out me to what my husband will do with a crying baby to finally being excited about utilizing different parts of my brain and get back into work.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
She has been smiling and growing growing growing. I have already packed away her 0-3 month clothes and slowly exchanging out all the 3-6 month clothes. We're on to 6-9 month, folks. Because it was summer time when my toddler was 6-9 months old, and her sizes matched perfectly for hand-me-downs from her cousin, for the first time ever, we're getting a little slim of clothes. Once upon a child, here i come.
I have been riding on the bicycle on a trainer in the porch almost every evening when my husband comes home. The first time i did this, i watched through the big picture window as my husband rounded the corner with the baby screaming in the baby bjorn and a bottle in hand with my toddler running circles around him. Since then, he has become more confident (and efficient) with both and i am starting to feel like i'm getting healthy again.
Although i'm not going back to my clinic for another 6 weeks, i am picking up urgent care shifts starting this friday. They are fairly easy shifts to pick up--only 4 hours and in the evenings or weekends. I am looking forward to getting my head back into work and am only a little anxious about it. I'm more anxious about what my husband will do when the baby finds out he has no breasts and he is not....me.
We are also planning our trip to australia next month. Because my breasts will be coming with us, i'm not too worried about the baby. I do wonder how the toddler will do. I'm comforted by the fact that she has done lots of travel and that my husband is good at "dealing" with her.
But enough about my breasts....