Death

Three days after the cat died, we decided to break the news to the 4 yr old, although the thought did cross our minds to wait and see how long it would take her to figure out the cat was gone. We had considered how to talk about the subject of death without telling her that Gato just went to sleep (to avoid sleep fear), or that she is buried (to avoid buried-while-you're-awake fear), or that she went to heaven to be with jesus (to avoid future christianity confusion).

Ironically, the night before we told her, Amelie asked what happened to Mr. Burns (our old cat that died when amelie was 1). I lied and told her Mr. Burns was very old, and when you're very old, you die (he was actually hit by a car). She asked me, "Older than me?" "Yes, older than you." She continues,"Older than you?" "Yes, older than me." She asks, "Why do we die?" Again, i lied, "We die when we get very very old. That's why." She didn't look entirely convinced, but let me off the hook.

The next morning, we were all snuggled in bed and i told amelie, "Remember last night when we were talking about mr. burns and how he died? Well, Gato died last night" (again with the lies). Amelie paused, and asked, "Where is she?" I replied, "She's dead." Amelie processes some more and asks, "But where is she?" I stammer, and come up with, "She's all gone because she's dead." Amelie persists,"Where is she?" My athiest engineer husband says, "But her spirit lives on, amelie. With Mr. Burns, and Baily, and Booty, and CD" (all our childhood dead animals). As amelie is asking him about "spirit," i look at him with a WTF-are-you-doing face--and he responds by shrugging and saying to me, "You gotta take it from here, i'm not sure where to go with this."

I told her i felt sad that Gato was dead, but it would make me feel better to share our favorite memory of Gato. I started to tell amelie about the day I got Gato as a kitten, and amlie rudely interrupted with "READ. ME. This book!" I said, "Don't you want to share stories--" "NO!"

That was a week ago, and amelie didn't bring it up again, nor did she seem sad. This morning, she told me, "When we're bigger than me or you, we go to Egypt." I asked her, "Um, what?" She said, "Gato and Booty and Mr. Burns are in Egypt and we'll go there too when we're bigger."

I'm not sure where we went wrong with the lesson about death. While we avoided fears about going to sleep or getting buried out in the cold, we may have started a fear about Egypt.

Christmas Chaos

We survived another xmas. We have our traditions down now: Santa at Jackson Street Roundhouse, Macy's 8th floor, xmas cookies. Every year, i think about how to give to others less fortunate, and think of less emphasis on stuff and now that i have children, how can i teach them xmas isn't only about stuff (and less emphasis on the whole baby jesus thing too)....It's definately a trickly thin line.

Yes. I thought about these things for just one second--then my almost-4 yr old reminded me of all the things she wants for xmas. As you can see above, she wasn't too excited to actually tell santa what these things are.

The next picture is of me and the girls on xmas eve--getting ready for the present opening frenzie at my brother's house. You can see me in my work clothes because i worked the morning of xmas eve. Because people think that their VIRAL colds will all-of-the-sudden respond to antibiotics on this day, the 24th of december. I'm not sure why--perhaps something to do with baby jesus' special magical powers? Me: You cold is viral. Unfortunately antibiotics won't do anything for it. Them: But it's xmas tomorrow. Me: I know. Them: So, can i get a prescription for antibiotics?

And the girls made out like bandits. Amelie spent an afternoon with my parents and they asked her what she wanted for xmas. She told them a princess wand and ice skates--and my parents delivered. As her and i were walking home on xmas day from ice skating, amelie asked me, "Santa didn't listen." I asked her what she meant. She said, "Santa didn't bring me what i asked for. But grandma and grandpa did."

And below is a video of my brother playing a little post-fondu wii. Doesn't he look special?

Gato, RIP

I woke up this morning to the news that our cat, Gato, died in her sleep last night. Although she was 15 years old, her death was rather unexpected. After i got over my own sadness, i quickly shifted to how the hell i'm going to tell my almost 4 yr old. I seriously considered getting a similar looking cat to replace her (c'mon...She's 4. Would she really notice?), or coming home with a kitten; Sort of a good news-bad news situation. But i was assured at work this would lead to life-long therapy for our daughter.

Gato lead an interesting life--i got her from a friend in high school as a kitten and because we lived in the country, she quickly became an outdoor cat and my father insisted i teach her how to 'hunt,' by giving me a coffee can full of rat babies and telling me, "You're her mother, teach her how to hunt." At age 16, i was pretty mortified, but managed to give her a lesson that stuck. She endured a few years in arizona with my parents when i went to college and i took her back after they called her 'coyote bait' one too many times. She would bring me dead rats and birds to the doorstep often. In her later years, she served as a great cuddler, and the girls really loved to crawl and tug and pull at her.

She will be missed.

Santa: A Warning

The Big One

Adele's korean tol was a success. She went for the rubics cube placed by her sister. Amelie didn't have a future prediction in mind, we're hoping it means she'll be a math genious. She then chose a toilet plunger brought by a friend that represents a future Joe...sefina the plumber (gawd, no). The third choice was the fake sword--which means a future in the army. I wonder what the koreans do when the chosen item fortells a direction the parents weren't intending on....

One Year Ago

A year goes by so fast. After dilating and contracting every 5 minutes for almost a week (i worked while dilated to 5 cm two days before her arrival), i finally had my friend/midwife give an eviction notice to the baby (pop the bag) and less than 2 hours later she came flying out into this world.

In one year, she has accomplished crawling, standing for short periods of time without help, cruising, showing us how big she is, peekaboo, itsy bitsy spider motions, signing "more" and "all done," and saying the following words: eye, mooo, mamamama, dada.

KADs are so pretty

Someone recently asked me why it is that the koreans who are adopted are so pretty and the 'real' koreans (his words) are so plain looking.

A Warning:

The baby turns 1 next week, and we will celebrate by having a traditional korean tol. I will also prepare her a processed sugar free carrot cake and instead of serving this super yummy cake to everyone, we will be getting a "regular" cake for all the non-babies. I was discussing the whole 2-cake birthday situation to amelie and she informed me that there will be only one cake for her birthday, and it will be too spicy for me because it will be a kimchi cake. She insists that we bake it with kimchi inside and on top of the cake with a big "4" candle.

Hmmm....I'm tempted. You've been warned.

Exactly

Thanks, scooter, for directing me to this.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Times are a'changing

At ecfe that's held in an elementary school, they had a 'code red' drill. This was during parent/child separation time and they didn't tell us what code red meant (tricky codes). Apparently, it's the drill you do when an unknown person is walking the halls with a gun. The parent teacher was explaining this to us and reminisced that when he was a kid, they did drills in the event of a nuclear attack. Aah, how times have changed.

That was weird...

I was looking for my wedding video to show the 3 5/6th year old and instead found my high school video compilation. The compilation included my junior year gymnastics routines (she freaked out seeing mommy do such fantastic tricks--"Mommy! You should do that at gymnastics practice!"), christmas of '94 complete with showing my xmas gifts including pj's that i still wear today and an art kit that my daughter recognized from the cabin, the video of me and some friends sneaking a swim in our principle's pool at midnight before graduation, and graduation itself. Before going down the isle in my white graduation gown ("No, dear, that's not a wedding dress."), there was a shot of my band teacher and high school counselor giving me a pat on the back and some words of advice that i have since forgotten. It was sad because both these guys have died prematurely since then.

After graduation, there was a clip of my closest friends and relatives duct taping me to a tree and stuffing ice down the back of my shirt. My daughter was especially concerned to see this snuff video. Questions and comments included, "It's not nice to tape people to a tree." "Why is uncle scott laughing?" "Doesn't that hurt?" "I'm not supposed to tape my sister to the tree."

Thanksgiving Masks

For thanksgiving, we usually spend it with a friend's parents; This year, we hosted. We made a lovely turkey, i tried out a few new recipes including white wine tomatoes and shallots, pumpkin peacan pie, sausage and apple stuffing, ginger cranberries and maple glazed carrots. Amelie made thankgsgiving masks for everyone who came--and she assured me this is a longstanding thanksgiving tradition. She is very much into masks these days, which may have stemmed from going to puppet shows at the heart of the beast lately.


The pictures attached are the masks she made for the family. The baby was not available for this photo (she was napping), and the hubs was at the urgent care because he has a cough and fever that hasn't responded to the first run antibiotics. You can tell who is 'daddy' because of the purple beard--he is participating in 'no shave november' for work-related charity. And you can see which one is baby because she is has her tongue hanging out--an observation amelie made about the baby.

Sick of sick

Almost a month ago, both girls came down with ear infections. The baby went on antibiotics (already her second course in her short little life), and i let amelie's ride it out--which it did. Thinking i'm smart, i stopped the baby's antibiotics on day 7 due to a yeast infection (versus doing the full course of 10 days) because her ears were clear. I peaked in her ears 3 days later and they are red and angry again. Damn it.

As soon as amelie's ears cleared up, she came home with a fever, and a miserable night and woke up last w/e with a rash. Because i know my childhood fever rashes so well (ah hem), i diagnosed her with coxackie virus and let it be. Then her day care told me that 3 kids came down with the chicken pox. Although amelie was vaccinated, it is possible to come down with a milder infection, and because the baby has not yet been vaccinated, i worried about her exposure. So, worry i did. Should i bring amelie in? Have them culture her lesions? Draw blood and see if it truly is coxackie? Fret, fret, fret (it's what i do).

After consulting 3 pediatricians that i work with, a nurse practitioner, who is my friend and amelie's own pediatrician, i have come to the conclusion that it was probably coxackie and either way, it has come and gone and she's fine.

Also, the girls' father has had a cough >2 weeks, and pertussis is running wild in this community.

And so, the baby goes back on antibiotics (and perhaps some lactobacillus this time), and i'll watch for signs of chicken pox. Amelie seems to have recovered, even though people are wary of her healing rash. And the hubs? He thinks i give all my empathy to my patients and have none left for my family. He might be right.

Quotes

While playing snow white:

Amelie: "Now i'm going to kill the evil queen."

Me: "Uh, maybe you should just tell her to have good behavior."

Amelie: "No. It's time for her to die."

Me: "How about you tell her to go away instead."

Amelie: "It's too late. She's dead."

Song over lunch:

Amelie: "Poop. Poopy in the bed. Poopy in your head. No, no no. Poopy in the potty."

Yet another version

Good Day for All (all but the gay community)

Tues was an emotional day, and difficult to explain to a 3.75 yr old. I felt it important to bring my girls with me to vote, just as my parents did when i was a kid. As a kid, i grew up watching my parents be politically involved. I remember going to the local VFW with my parents to vote and getting a red sticker and although the sticker was truly the highlight, i got the idea something more important was happening. I tried, and couldn't quite understand the idea of republican (reagan) and democrat (mondale). My parents threw fundraising parties for local candidates at our house, and wrote letters to politicians when they saw inequities in our community. My mother was a personal friend of wellstone and although she didn't always agree with him, she showed me the importance of keeping him aware of her point of view as a nurse for the underserved.

I brought my girls with me to vote and explained the process to amelie, with hopes that this memory will be imprinted in her long term. Amelie helped me make sure the circles were filled in completely. I looked at her and said, "Remember this, Amelie." It may be too much to ask a small child, but i hope she can tell her children one day that she watched her mother vote for the first black president.

I was glad to be surrounded by friends to watch the results roll in tues night, and amused it was jon stewart who informed us obama won. The tears and champagne flowed freely.

Although i'm thrilled obama won, i'm a bit troubled by the added challenges for the GLBT community. I am surprised CA voted to overturn gay marriage (AZ and FL doesn't surprise me as much). I have 3 problems with this:

1. If i would have known god was involved in my marriage, i have a feeling my athiest husband would not be on board to get married. God was not mentioned in our ceremony and it was not performed in a church. Many weddings are performed in this manner, and much to right-winged religious zelots' disappointment, religion has nothing to do with the urge to be in a commited monogamous relationship.
2. Who cares where the wedding took place--MA, CA, australia or the shitsplat, nowhere in the middle of the deserts of arabia. When my husband and i returned from australia married, nobody asked for our wedding certificate or any proof at all. We just started telling people (DMV, insurance co, employer, etc). Nobody batted an eyelash. When immigrants came to the hospital to have a baby, we don't ask them for proof when they fill out the birth certificate--i told them to just mark "married," and they're golden.
3. Who cares if gay people get married? Does it really affect your god and your life? Does it defame your commitment to your spouse? Does it really mean your commitment that you made with your loved one with god, pastor, justice, whatever, means anything less? The answer is no. If you really think that the fact gay people can get married will all-of-the-sudden make you want to cheat on your spouse or question your commitment, i think it's a reflection of you. Not gay people. (PS: Divorce rates in heteros isn't necessarily a shining example of the respect "we" (we=heteros) have for marriage.)

Joe the Plant

I am sick of joe the plumber. He is such a plant from the mccain campaign. Hasn't it been established that obama's tax plan wouldn't touch joe's taxes? But then, mccain runs his last few weeks of his campaign on joe's non-tax increase? Are we voting mccain/jo now? And then, what a shock, joe comes out a mccain supporter. It's like an argument with my 3 yr old daughter, something like: "I'm afraid you won't let me eat my treats after dinner." "You can eat a treat after dinner, here you go." "No, you won't let me." "But you just ate it." "MY MOM WON'T LET ME EAT CANDY.... AND SHE'S A SOCIALIST."

Please.

Halloween 08

At the age of 3.75, my little "butterfly princess" was totally into halloween this year. She made out like a bandit and is very excited to eat the allotted 1 piece of candy a day, which will bring us well into the christmas season. Great.

Although the baby is 'dressed' like a cheetah, her true costume at tonight's halloween party will be a baby. With her cord still attached. With the placenta (me!) attached to that. Pictures to come at a later date.

And now that the frights of halloween night have passed, we can look forward to the end of 8 years of horror and fear in our country.

Power (half) Hour

Barack's 30 minute infomercial last night was just what i needed. Like many around me, i have just about reached point of saturation with the campaign, and it's starting to give me that nauseous vomity sort of feeling. I'm sick of the negative ads, and even sicker of the strong undertone of racism as tues approaches; What i needed was for some good ole fashioned Obama style rhetoric. I needed him to inspire me to be proud to vote and be proud to support him. And i fell hook, line and sinker last night.

I hear people who express frustration as tues approaches, and are leaning towards not voting. My grandmother of 93, feels frustrated her state only carries 2 electoral votes, and has decided to not vote. My coworkers who are sick of all politicians and negative adverts, who will 'protest' by not voting. Others i've heard who are unaware of which nominee best stands for their political stance.

Women have voted for 88 years--within my grandmother's lifespan. The Voting Rights Act was passed a mere 43 years ago, allowing a vast increase in the african-american vote. It was only in 1971 that people 18-21 yrs old could vote, seeming only fair in that we were asking for their lives as they were drafted to vietnam. We are currently in 2 wars to 'create' a democratic state, including a voting process.

It seems crass to me that people can be so flippant about voting. Our fathers (and mothers) have fought hard to get the right to vote. It is not only our right, it is our responsibility. It is our responsibility to listen to the issues and pay attention and make an educated decision. It is a way to be pro-american and patriotic. To not vote is disrespectful to those who have fought so hard so that we can. I see voting as my license to complain about the current state of the union!

Race Wars

Here's what we need to do: Put obama in a bullet proof ball. Sort of like a hamster.

Although this plan was created by certified crazies that even the typical republican would condemn (they would, right?), i do fear for the safety of obama. I'm afraid an attempt to take his life would not only be a horrible tragedy, but it would also spark an awful race war.

...And it rhymes

I'm always loving what she says.

IT'S OFFICIAL!

I just found out I passed the lactation consultant certification exam. I'm an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC)!

Family Values--Piper Palin

Uh-oh, oohh.

My time as a middle-schooler was not the best years of my life. I didn't care much about school, felt a lack of connection with my parents, felt like most people didn't like me for reasons i didn't understand. Although this is par for the course as a tweener, i had the added challenge of being the minority among a majority. It is only in hindsight that i see this was related to being korean-adopted, even though my 12 year old self would deny it (being korean, adopted, different in any way). My parents would gently ask me if i felt frustrated because i looked different than my classmates--at a time that i truly believed i was just another frustrated white 12 year old girl. I tried so hard to blend into my surroundings by getting perms, wearing the right clothes and listening to the right music--including New Kids on the Block--just like all the other 12 year olds.

And so when i heard NKOTB were touring again, i felt uneasy. Seeing all the now 30-something year old white women swoon for NKOTB brought it all back.

Then my brother won suite txts for me and a friend. And with reluctance, i went to their concert last night.

We started the night at the Liffy--my intentions were to get a good buzz going to be able to stomach these feelings of inadequacy from years ago come rushing back to me. It was bursting at the seems with 30 something yr old women, some dressed circa 1989, all a chatter with excitement. I looked around feeling 12 again.

Before the concert began, Jordan invited us to text them and the text would be shot up on the big screen while they got the stage ready. Typical texts said, "We've been waiting 15 years! We totally love yoU!!!!'" and "Jordan, will U marry me??? OMG!!!" We tried to text, "NKOTB wants you to vote Obama," but we were too old to figure out how the hell to text.

The concert was almost exactly the same as the one i saw at the met so many years ago. Same songs, same synchronized dancing, same wind blown open shirt solos. There was a random photo montage of very random people who have died on the big screen--including heath ledger (seriously. Random). And a very strange song with a very whorish woman dancing in the middle of their new kids circle with lots of tight crotch shots up on the big screen. And there was a moment when donnie (ah hem, my favorite) cried (shot: Tear streaming down cheek) because he was so overwhelmed by our...loudness.

At one point, one of them commented that a lot has changed in 15 years, and suggested perhaps 15 years was too long. To which, our small group yelled, "NOPE. We're good with 15 years." He then told the crowd that 2 things he has noticed in 15 years is that we can all drink now (seriously. Lots and LOTS of drunk women), and some of 'us' had bulging bellies we were rubbing. To this, one of our small group yelled, "ACTUALLY, we're just older and fatter now!!!" And then, he asked us to go home and give our husbands 15 years "worth of loving," you know, after having seen NKOTB tonight. Most of the crowd cheered at this suggestion; Our small group looked at each other in disgust.

With hesitation, i say overall a good time was had by all. I was surprised how the songs brought back some of the bad inadequate feelings i had in middle school, but some of the good as well (giggling with good friends).

Something about him....

After mccain's veep pick was announced, i overheard a conversation of 2 women talking about the election. One voiced her disgust with the whole process and all politicians and she didn't think she'd vote this year. The other talked about how the palin choice was unexpected and exciting and asked if the other had heard that she's a hockey mom....and she's a hockey mom. Then they said, "I have to say, there's something about obama. I just don't trust him." The other nodded in agreement and said, "I know what you mean! I don't either, I don't know what it is about him."

Since obama announced his presidential intentions, everyone has been talking about race. I scoffed at the idea that it made much difference. Initially, i thought obama being black just didn't matter to people of my generation. My parents, who remember the civil rights movement, and others of their age might be more aware of the fact he is black--like it or not.

What i've come to realize as the weeks have gone by is that obama being black might make a bigger difference that i had initially thought. People generally know it's not right to be racist. But have these two women i overheard ever trusted a black man? Do they know any black men? The bradley effect ("I'm not racist. I'll vote for the right guy. Hell if i vote for a black man, though.")has been referenced to suggest the election will be closer than expected.

The debate last night was good. They had time to debate and point out the weaknesses in each other's plans. Unfortunately, mccain spent much of the time on attack and had some low blows (who the hell cared about ayers??) and instead of drastically changing the direction of his campaign, he appeared angry and desperate. And talk about biting the tongue--obama's response to "Do you think she's qualified?" was cordial and respectful.

My brother has a very funny (er, scary) post about a conspiracy theory re: obama.

Funny Things Said

After wiping the 3.75 yr old's butt after she took a dump, i told her, "Wash your hands really good." She says, "Why?" I replied, "Because there are germs in poop." She exclaimed, "And sometimes there are nuts too!"

Later that day, she was playing with her baby sister and the baby was taking her things. She said, "No, baby. Don't touch that, baby. Baby! BABY! CHEESES!" I looked at her and told her to calm down....and what does "cheeses" mean? She told me that's what you say when you get a little frustrated.

Respect?

McCain has lead a finger pointing, blame-game, 'hate him' campaign for some time. He has encouraged his followers to be angy at the opponent for many months. In light of the widening gap in the polls, he has finally asked his mccainiacs to settle down a little. Recently, when mccaine or palin speaks of obama, people have yelled out "Terrorist," or "Liar!" or even the N word. How can mccain be surprised? Now he's asking these worked up mccain supporters to respect obama?

At a rally held here in MN, mccain interrupted a woman who called obama an arab. Mccain corrected the woman saying, "No ma'am. Obama is a decent family man." Um. Is this opposite of being an arab? How can being arab be equivilant to being a terrorist or liar? It frightens me that we have created this fear of cultural differences.

The sh*t throwing in the last few weeks of the campaign isn't pretty, and it certainly hasn't brought out the best in the candidates, but the bigger ugly is what it's brought out in americans.

We are way beyond asking for respect.

Debatable

The debate was rehashing campaign speeches without any real debate. The only interesting part was when they were allowed to discuss taxes because there could be some back and forth. Why not put these candidates head-to-head in a real discussion where they can pick at each other's proposal and find the holes and argue why their proposal is better. It was good that obama pointed out why shopping for insurance plans beyond state lines would be bad. I want more of that type of discussion. Here's what i want. I want obama and mccain in a cage, last man out wins. Ok, i'm just kidding, but you get my point.

Did anyone else get a little freaked out by that lady behind obama? The one with the eyes, smirking? Very distracting.

State of the Union

I'm looking forward to the debate tonight. I'm happy to hear obama is pulling ahead in the polls and only recently have i allowed myself to truly think (and hope?) that he may become our next president. Palin really is the nail in mccain's coffin. I'm not exactly sure what her pull is--and i'm afraid it might be a reflection of people who don't know much about politics and the dire state of our country right now. Why would they want "someone just like them?" Wouldn't you want someone smarter than you? As a matter of fact, i'm unsure of why there isn't a 'minimum requirement' of education and experience to apply for the job (and the job of president as well).

And don't even get me started on the fact that she is so anti choice and anti-sex education--yet has a knocked up unmarried daughter. You want to preach 'values,' and spout that you don't need sex ed in schools because that is a conversation for the home--and look what happens?? And now you're forcing these teenagers to get married (is it better to marry shot-gun style than be divorced?). And, by the way, this conversation doesn't need to talk about abortion--let's just talk about education and how to avoid abortion. I think we can all agree to that (but apparently not).

I'm really trying to understand the economic debacle. What i don't understand is why the senate tacked on these random earmarks to get the house to pass it. One of the analysts on news hour called it a "pinata of ridiculousness." It's a shame that this is the way wellstone's mental health parity act gets signed into law. It doesn't really celebrate the passing of this bill. It all feels sort of like a sad poker game.

What We've Been Up To

The above picture is from tucson, az on mt lemmon. We took a family vacation to see my parents for a week. It was unlike a typical family vacation we would do. We typically over schedule our vacations with lots of activities and museums, blow through nap times and fall into an exhausted heap at the end of the day; My husband and i would pretend to go to sleep at 7pm until the children fall asleep--then we'd watch tv at a very low level while eating take out food. No, tucson was different. My parents' house was comfortable, easy going and the best part is they had a pool. They also volunteered to babysit the children so we could go eat surprisingly good sushi food (in the middle of a desert!) instead of eating take out in hushed voices.


The above photo is at the pie shop on top of mt lemmon. Really good pie.



And here is the pool with my daugther exhibiting her straddle jump.

Speaking of straddle jumps, my daughter (let's call her AMS?) started gymnastics at my alma mater, which, while at university, i participated in the gymnastics team for one year. Very strange experience--although the gym is in a new building since i was there, it's headed up by the same coach and one of the coaches was on the team when i was on the team. Brings back memories.

Speaking of memories, we went to the cabin last weekend to winterize it. AMS was playing with an old tape recorder i had as a kid that had the original recordable tape inside. We taught her how to play, rewind and record on the tape. As we listened to her new recordings, you could hear my old recordings of songs from the radio (feliz navidad, blue christmas) and chirps of my own child-sized voice. We have done plenty of video recordings of the kids, but somehow the cassette recording of AMS (and me) singing seems more real.

July? Already?

It's been a busy spring. I haven't had much time to blog (read or write), but i'm here. The 3 yr old's most recent funny ramblings was a few days ago, playing in the backyard hand-me-down pool. She said, "Mom? You have 2 choices: Breast milk or breast water." I asked her, "Where does the breast milk and water come from?" She replied, "The breast milk came from my nipples and the breast water came from a pig."

The baby has been amusing and cute as can be. One of my friends calls her Bambi-eyes. She's babbling more, blowing raspberries, rolling over, sitting up with ease and eating bananas.

We went to the cabin for the 1st time of the season and did a myriad of chores to open it up for the summer. I used to be ambivalent about the cabin as a tweenager (nothing like going to the cabin, hanging with the 'rents), but the older i get, the more i appreciate it. I love showing the kids cabin stuff: picking rocks, swimming, jumping off the boat, roasting marshmallows, etc, etc.

Chicago 08

For the second year in a row, we went to chicago for the memorial day w/e. Above is last year and below is just a few days ago.

The hit of chicago, by far, was the millennium fountain. It was the cause of much joy and many tears. I'm still wondering if the 3 yr old tantrums were worth it...

Yes, the baby was with us--proof is below. As we crossed this river, the 3 yr old amused the locals by yelling, "LOOK, mom! The river is green?!"

Overall a successful trip. The 3 yr old was a roller coaster of emotion--quickly oscillating between laughing maniacally or crying in a whiny fit. The 3 yr old amused fellow bus riders on our way back to the heart of the city from lincoln park by looking out the window and yelling, "It's Lake Michigan, mom!!" I agreed with her observation proudly, thinking everyone loves an inquisitive and excited child. Then my inquisitive daughter started laughing and pointing at a gentleman with cornrows, saying, "His hair is SILLY, mom!" At this point, i tried to hush her natural curiosity.

The field museum was excellent. The exhibit about egyptian pyramids and mummies lead to difficult questions from the 3 yr old. "Why are they mummies? What does 'buried' mean? Why are they dead? How can i be buried?" We went to another exhibit that chronicals the evolution of the world including mass extinctions, which lead to questions like, "Where are the dinosaurs? Why are they gone? What happened? Why did the dinosaurs' teeth fall out?" The last question stems from my daughter's trauma from watching us play the wii at my brother's house--a game where you pick worms out of the teeth. Watching this, along with hearing about her cousin's teeth falling out lead to a fear of tooth-related trauma.

When i grow up?

My 3 yr old daughter is currently obsessed about princesses. The kid doesn't watch tv, has never been exposed to disney princesses, but she picked it up. From daycare. Like a virus. If you can't tell, i'm not exactly enthused. Looking at the disney princesses with their unattainable body shape and ridiculous clothing and with only one minority represented i wonder what sorts of messages my 3 yr old gets from idolizing them. I decided i would not buy princess-themed crap (did you notice those sluts will put their image on anything? Band-aides, crayons, food, socks). But the 3 yr old and her parents are celebrating being diaper-free at night, so we celebrated by buying her some underwear--whatever type she wants. You can guess what she chose. I tried to convince her to get stars or dora or hello kitty. No. *sigh*

Yesterday she asked me, "Mom? Know what i want to be when i grow up?" She used to want to be a nurse practitioner like her mother and her grandmother, so i was prepared for her to tell me this again. Instead, she horrified me by telling me, "I want to be a princess when i grow up!" It was like she told me she wanted to join the army. I tried not to react too much and told her, "If you want to be a princess when you grow up, you have to go to university and get a masters degree and learn french." I continued to inform her that the princesses she so much loves all have doctorates in science and they all are fluent in a 2nd language.

Something To Blog About

With the recent tragedies in myanmar and china, who knew there was an opportunity to give a shoutout to breastfeeding. Two days ago, a Save The Children representative was speaking of how the children of myanmar are surviving (or not) in the aftermath of the cyclone. He mentions the orphaned infants are surviving with the help of "milk maid prostitutes." Uh-huh. That's the term. "Milk maid prostitutes." With the contaminated water, apparently powder formula that has been donated is of no use.

And yesterday, my husband heard a clip about a chinese policewoman who is breastfeeding 8 orphaned infants.

Speaking of orphans, I have been playing songs from the movie Annie (1982) on youtube to play for my 3 yr old. As a kid, it was my favorite movie. We had the movie, the soundtrack, the piano music, etc, etc. As i listened to the lyrics of the song Maybe 20 years later, i couldn't help but cringe. She speaks of how her parents are going on with life and "...their one mistake was giving up me." I'm not exactly sure how to explain what the song is about to my 3 yr old; I can't imagine the explanation that came from my parents. I think about the songs from this movie fondly, but as an adult as i'm hearing them again, i can't help but be a little sad about it. It might be obvious as to why i attached myself to the movie as a child, but now that i am a mother, i can't help but think it must have been sad for my own parents. I'm not sure what they said, but obviously it didn't damage me because i still think fondly of the songs and the movie.

Speaking of movies, we signed up for netflix and have been catching up on movies we haven't seen in the past 3 years. We watched the documentary End of Suburbia, which was depressing. Mostly, the movie speaks of how we have reached the peak of all available oil in our earth and we have to think of alternative energy now. Or yesterday. It makes me think about how i will shock and disgust my future grandchildren with stories of how i drive 20 miles to work and how i used to drive a gas-guzzling truck to school (even though there was mass transit available) and how i used to buy groceries that contained mostly food products grown miles and miles away from where i live. My grandchildren will tell me, "Wow, grannie! You used to be so wasteful, it's tragic."

*sigh* Must do more. Must drive less. Must join CSA (did that!). Must waste less.

Life Goes On

My lack of posting does not reflect a lack of things to keep me busy. Here are a few snippits of what's been going on: May Day Parade, building breastfeeding clinical group visit at work, running again, thoughts of ragbrai '09, Buster's, urgent care shifts, 3 yr old art classes, King of Kong, a new jody piccoult novel, studying fo IBCLC (certified lactation consultant) exam, paying attention to my diet, and wiping sniffly noses from daycare dribbles.

RAGBRAI 09

We could rent this sucker to do ragbrai...wadda ya say?

The Girls

Memey Memey

Thanks, shesays and scooter:

Because my daughters are napping at the same time (!), and my body is too sore to go on the bike trainer, i meme.

In my life, I have ….

(X) smoked a cigarette

(X) crashed a car
(hey, did that just 2 weeks ago!)
(X) got drunk with a good friend

( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love

( ) been dumped

(X) shoplifted. Yeah, yeah, scooter. I shoplifted a happy birthday card and pin saying something like "Spank me, it's my birthday!" for Ray Kreevoy, mom's friend.
(X) been fired. From freakin' don pablos for serving alcohol to someone who forgot their id. They called me back 3 months later and apologized and offered my job back. Wish i could say i preserved my dignity and said no....
(X) been in a fist fight. Nobody calls me "chinky chinky chinaman" and gets away with it!

( ) snuck out of my parent’s house
( X) been arrested. After shoplifting. By my brother's friend.
( ) gone on a blind date

(X) skipped school. With approval from my parents.
( X) seen someone die

(X) been to Canada

(X) been to Mexico

(X) been on a plane

( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire. Who says 'X' to this one??
(X) eaten Sushi

(X) been skiing
(X) been moshing at a concert. Moshing to alanis morrisette, baby!
(X) taken painkillers

(X) love someone or miss someone right now

(X) lay on my back and watched cloud shapes go by

(X) made a snow angel
(X) flown a kite

(X) built a sand castle

(X) gone puddle jumping. Like, in a small plane? Yes.
(X) played dress up

(X) jumped into a pile of leaves. We used to have a huge yard, i would gather them up and practice doing flips/gymnastics into them. Fun fun!

(X) gone sledding

(X) cheated while playing a game. I used to all the time with my brothers, but they would still win. Damn it!
(X) been lonely

(X) fallen asleep at work/school.
( ) used a fake id
(X) watched the sun set

( ) felt an earthquake

(X) touched a snake

( ) slept beneath the stars

(X) been tickled

( ) been robbed

(X) been misunderstood

(X) pet a goat
(X) won a contest. Um, a hula hoop contest, baby!
(X) run a red light

( ) been suspended from school

(X) been in a car accident
( X) had braces

( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
 [try in one sitting]
(X) had deja vu. Let me clarify, it was deja vu, as in: "It feels like i've had this experience before." Not deja vu like "I'm having a psychic moment," as my brother explains in his meme.
(X) danced in the moonlight

(X) liked the way I look

(X) witnessed a crime

(X) questioned my heart

( ) been obsessed with post-it notes

(X) squished barefoot through the mud

(X) been lost

(X) been to the opposite side of the country

(X) swum in the ocean

( ) felt like dying

(X) cried myself to sleep

(X) played cops and robbers

(X ) recently colored with crayons

(X) sung karaoke. For the first time in korea. It's true what they say: Koreans do have pretty singing voices.
(X) paid for a meal with only coins

(X) done something I told myself I wouldn’t

(X) made prank phone calls

( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose

(X) caught a snowflake on my tongue

(X) danced in the rain

(X) written a letter to Santa Claus

(X) been kissed under a mistletoe

(X) watched the sun rise with someone I care about

(X) blown bubbles

(X) made a bonfire on the beach

(X) crashed a party

(X) gone roller-skating

(X) had a wish come true

(X) worn pearls

(X) jumped off a bridge. Illegally bungee jumped in california!
(X) ate dog/cat food. Mmm...tender vittels
( ) told a complete stranger I loved them

(X) kissed a mirror

(X) sung in the shower

(X) had a dream that I married someone

(X) glued my hand to something

( ) got my tongue stuck to a flag pole

( ) kissed a fish

(X) sat on a roof top

(X) screamed at the top of my lungs

(X) done a one-handed cartwheel. Try NO handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours

(X) stayed up all night

( ) didn’t take a shower for a week

(X) picked and ate an apple right off the tree

(X) climbed a tree

(X) had a tree house

(X) been scared to watch scary movies alone

(...) believe in ghosts. Unsure...but *love* hearing peoples ghost stories.
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes

( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say

(X) gone streaking

(X) gone doorbell ditching

( ) played chicken

(X) jumped into a pool/hot tub/lake with all my clothes on

(X) been told I’m hot by a complete stranger

(X) broken a bone

(X) been easily amused

( ) caught a fish then ate it

(X) caught a butterfly

(X) laughed so hard I cried

( ) cried so hard I laughed

(X) cheated on a test
( ) owned a Britney Spears CD

(X) forgotten someone’s name

(X) French-braided someone’s hair

(X) gone skinny dipping in a pool

( ) been threatened to be kicked out of my house

( ) been kicked out my house

(X) had a fantasy over someone I love as a good friend

(X) sun-tanned naked

( ) ran naked in the rain

And you?

Fittest of them all....

I admit: I love group exercise...aerobics, spinning. I love the challenge of getting the steps. I love the loud dance music. I love sweating. A few years ago, i found a gym that really gave me a challenge. The aerobics and spinning there were really for the fittest of the fit. Going to this gym along with training for a marathon got me the fittest i have ever been. Even after having a baby, i was able to get strong enough to pick up some classes at the gym here and there. And now i've had two babies...and have been on my bike every other day...I thought i was ready to go back. So i did last week. And almost died.

I am used to being a strong athlete. I enjoy physical challenge and am used to being one of the strongest, quick to pick up the steps in an aerobics class. But when i went back to the gym last week, i felt lost, hot, weak and old. After 20 minutes of the too-loud music and huffing and puffing, i had to excuse myself because i thought i was going to faint. Seriously. Once i returned, i couldn't follow the complicated step work. I had to be that person...the one who just marches in place until they catch their breath and can follow allong. I used to secretly laugh at that person. And here i am.

And the day after (and day after that) was extremely painful. I used to enjoy feeling sore after a good work out. It was a satisfying feeling of being sore--feeling my muscles grow and stretch. But after going back to the gym last week, my muscles were stiff and angry.

I've gone back since then and hope it gets easier.

Potato Famine and Easter Bunny

As soon as the toddler woke up, she asked with some concern, "How did the easter bunny get into the house?" I didn't know how to answer. Then she told me how he woke her up in the night.

3 yr old, coloring: "He's a little boy and he is soooooo dead."
Me: "He's what?"
her: "He ate a potato and it made him so dead."
me: "um...what?"
her: "When you eat a potato it makes you dead."

Happy easter, you've been warned!

Riding

Now that we're back in the swing of things, i have started exercise again. Instead of being stuck in the porch on my bicycle trainer, i've been able to take the ole bike out on the road. It's been warming up and it's nice to get back on the trails. My brother teased me with a sort-of invite to do RAGBRAI in 2009. I believe he told me that if i committed, my father would do it again. You know, for his baby daughter?

...and then, Brisbane

On our way back to the states, the 'relo's' drove us 3 hours to brisbane for a 2 day holiday. I have been to brisbane once before and it is my favorite city in australia. I am working on my husband to one day live there. On the way up, we stopped by an aussie zoo with real live aussie animals. Of course, the kids love it.

In one area, you are allowed to pet and feed the kangaroos with the following instructions.

I was facinated by the joey's in the kangaroos' pockets. The baby kangaroos are pretty small when they crawl into the pocket. Here is a synopses of what happens:

...and here is a joey in a real live kangaroo!!

Here's the joey moving around inside:



Brisbane has a lovely public swimming area with a great view of the city and the river.

Brisbane is just north enough that it's tropical. We passed many banana and sugar cane fields on the way. We saw lizards like the one below everywhere we went in the city.

...and then we flew home! It was my fifth visit to australia and it's always bitter sweet leaving. Perhaps one day i can convince my husband to live there.

Calming Baby and Back to Work

Baby definately has calmed down right in time for our trip. She has made some other noises than crying, which is fun. She has been smiling--the first time documented above. And she actually slept for long periods of time on our trip! She did a 7 hour stretch in bathurst, which was almost unbelieveable. Generally, i was able to put her down to sleep around 7pm in australia, and she would sleep until around midnight. It was great!! I'm hoping after she's over jet lag(why does she have jet lag when she gets to take as many naps as she wants???), she'll do it some more.

She has survived her first few days in day care. Due to bad planning, we returned from oz on friday evening and i started back at work on monday. It's been going well. Her first day, i told the teacher she tends to be high needs and likes to be held and hasn't really fallen asleep without being nursed or held. I also left enough breastmilk to feed the whole center. During my one of 3 check in calls/emails during the day, the teacher told me she would describe the baby as "easy going." Surely they were describing the wrong baby.

Being back at work has been a good thing. I really enjoy what i do and it hasn't been as traumatic as i had expected.

Grandad

On the train ride up to my sister-in-law's house, we were reviewing the color of people's hair. It went something like this:

Me: "What color is my hair?"

3 y.o: "Black!"

Me: "What color is daddy's hair?"

3 y.o.: "Brown!"

My husband: "What color is grandad's hair?"
3 y.o examines grandad: ".......yellow?"

Maclean

The "relo's" live 5 minutes from the beach and have a pool. Yes. We went swimming. The beach was beautiful, and most times, we were the only ones in the water. I loved it. I wondered out loud with my husband why there wasn't a huge resort surrounding this beach and he said, "It's australia. It's like this the whole way 'round." *sigh*

The cousins got along swimmingly (hehe). Of course, their 3 yr old and my 3 yr old were two peas in a pod. She kept referring to the type of english i was speaking, which i can only imagine it meant my accent. At one point, my husband and i went to the beach alone and i told the 3 yr old we were going out and about. When we returned, she asked us how the boat was. She heard, "Out in a boat."

They also have a trampoline. I'm not sure who jumped more on it--my daughter or me. I think i kicked the kids off it several times--shameless.

The kangaroos would make their way through the yard every morning and afternoon. They were all over the neighborhood, it was pretty amazing. They would rest under the trampoline or hop on by eating grass.

Sydney

We took my father-in-law with us to sydney foer 2 days. It was hot! Here the girls are at the botanical gardens. You can't quite see the hundreds of bats hanging in the trees behind us. We walked the harbor a bit, and visited the australian museum...which was quite good. It was a quick visit, then we were off on a day-long train ride to n. NSW to my sister-in-law's house.

Bathurst

After the southern highlands, my father-in-law came and picked us up and took us to bathurst, where he lives. It's a pleasant small aussie town that is most famous for hosting a car race. We took a drive on it and you tubed it here, but a funny clip of the race a few years ago is here.

One day, we went to a neighboring small town to have a pub lunch where the toddler found her fear of flies. Not a good fear to have in australia. We taught her the "australian wave," and tried to make light, but she would scream and run for cover any time a pest flew by--which was a lot.

The bathurst museum my father-in-law volunteers at had a display about medical history. As a future IBCLC (i got approved to take the exam in july!!), i found the display about breastfeeding particularly interesting. There was this letter made by a formula company that is supposed to be from your visiting home nurse to the new mother and baby.

Reminds me of how nestle "donated" formula to african countries telling them it's best for babies until all the lactating mothers had their babies weaned....then stopped donating the formula so all these moms and babies were up sh*t creek.

Here's an early version of a nipple shield for all the nurses in the house.

Southern Highlands

We started our trip at friends house in the southern highlands. After the 3.5 hr flight from MN to LA, and after the 14 hr flt from LA to Sydney, we did an hour long subway chase to an outer suburb of sydney and waited at a train station for 2 hours for the outer suburb train to our friends house that lasted another hour. It was amazing we even remembered how to shower and get into bed by the time we got there. The children did amazingly well on this 24 hour journey. The biggest fit we had from the 3 yr old was when we landed in sydney and were waiting to get off the plane. She looked at me and said, "Are we in australia?" Me: "Yes." Her: "We can go swimminging in australia?" Me: "Yes, probably not today, but yes we'll go swimming." Her: "But you said we could go swimming in australia." Me: "Yes, but not today." It was as if i told her santa clause doesn't exist. She screamed her head off. She screamed, then screamed louder and yelled, "I PEED MY PANTS!!!!" And indeed. She peed her pants.

Here's the 3 yr old with our friends demolishing a gingerbread cake filled with smarties made by her grandad for her bday. We didn't know grandad knew how to make gingerbread houses. It's amazing what grandchildren will make you do.

Here are the children of our friends who adored the baby. They loved holding the baby, looking at the baby and touching the baby. And, by god, if they touched the baby, the toddler touched the baby.

Back

We made it. Two and a half weeks in australia with two small children. Both children made it back unscathed. Three days in the southern highlands, two days in bathurst, two days in sydney, a day-long train ride up to just south of gold coast, 5 days in rural gold coast, two days in brisbane. The 3 yr old only peed her pants twice and developed a phobia for flies. The newborn realized how much better it is to sleep right next to her food source.

.

It is much more difficult to aclimate from summer to winter than it is from winter to summer. Last night after i unpacked (my husband's bag didn't come back with us last night....nor did one of the strollers and the car seat base), we sat in our cold basement and my husband remarked how well the a/c was working. Tell you how jet lagged we are?

More pictures and stories later. Must. Sleep.

Off His Meds

Yes, we are preparing for our transpacific trip to oz--but i had to rant about the illinois campus police chief's press release regarding the college shooting by kazmierczak. He states, "Apparently he had been taking medication but stopped and became somewhat erratic." Subsequent media reports will go on to say he was off an "unnamed" medication.

Um. Was he on claritin? Antibiotics? No, no. We all know he was on some sort of medication for a mental illness. But is it generally known that he was probably on an antipsychotic? A medication for schizophrenia or bipolar disorder? We're not talking prozac or wellbutrin. I believe this contributes to the false beliefs many people have about medications used for depression and anxiety. Some people i see in clinic are reluctant to take medication for their anxiety/depression because, by god, they don't feel like they want to shoot up a school or anything. They aren't *that* crazy. All they have is a sleep issue. If i'd just prescribe some sleep aids for them, they'd be just fine! insert sarcasm.

What Crazy People Do

The good news is the baby has stopped screaming so much. The bad news? She doesn't like to sleep very long. I should rephrase: She doesn't like to sleep long for me. My husband had no problems putting her down in her crib last night and she slept a solid 2 hours---which is a lot!

She enjoys being held and being rocked side to side. She especially likes her head to bob a little as if she is casually shaking her head "no." Two nights ago, it was 4am and i couldn't get her to sleep, so i gently rocked her and allowed her to shake her head, which lulled her to sleep. As i watched her drift off, i was curious why this motion was so soothing to her. So i slowly lulled my head back and forth. Then it occured to me: This is what crazy people do. They shake their head to see what it feels like.

She had her 2 month visit and weighed in at a whopping 13 pounds 4 oz. That means she has gained almost a pound per week since she was born. No wonder she's so unsettled...It takes a lot of energy to grow so fast!

And now we prepare for the LissyJo family trip to australia. Can 2 adults carry 2 car seats, 2 strollers, 2 large backpacks, a diaper bag, and the toddler's bag? OH and 2 small children? Doubtful. How exasperated do us adults have to look and how cute do the gils have to look to get a helping hand? Stay tuned....i'll be sure to let you know.

Yes We Can

I was happily surprised to hear obama won in mn, even though "they" couldn't hear my argument because i was working. After hearing about this video on youtube on npr, i watched it with my daughter watching. She asked who 'that man' was. I told her it was obama--our next president and as i tried to explain why he keeps saying 'yes we can,' i became teary thinking of how much our country needs change (don't laugh..i blame hormones). It seems obama's talent is raising hope in our exasperated country and i hope that when he is elected, our country doesn't turn on him when he can't immediately change the massive f*ck up bush has created.

Medical Adoptions

Looking for a child AND an organ? Check it out.

Adoption Shmadoption

Um, has anyone seen Adoption Stories on TLC? I just watched one where a canadian couple adopts a child from haiti. To give you an idea, the orphanage is called "god's little angels." They could have called the episode "White Couple Saves Black Baby From Terrible Country." They make a big deal about the adoptive mother feeding the baby his "first meal," (nevermind he looks about one year old and has probably eaten prior to her arrival) and how to care for his "terribly" dry hair and skin (by "terrible," did she mean 'black' or 'orphaned?'). They also had a small blurp about meeting the birthmother where they got the comforting story that she wanted to do the best she could for her child, which meant "giving him up" to this lovely canadian couple. They laughed about how they couldn't possibly keep his name, Wendi, unless he was guarenteed to grow up to be a football player--so his name was changed to something like adrian.

Watching this episode was like watching a car accident. It mostly made me sad about the show overlooking the complete adoption story, which might not be as sweet and tidy as portrayed. I was especially curious about the access to the birthmother. It seemed the adoptive parents were recieving most of their direction about baby cares from the orphanage manager instead of the birth mother. Does the agency keep them separated? Is it usual for the adoptive parents to meet the birth mother? What exactly are the circumstances surrounding this adoption and her "choice" to adopt out?

Speaking of sad adoption stories, did you see the story in the strib about the korean adoptee who found her birth family which included a twin sister? Her birthmother is terminally ill and drops the bomb on her daughter that she has a twin that she 'gave up' for adoption at birth and she'd like her to find her. And here that daughter is living in rural, minnesota. Damn.

I Love Work!

When the baby was 6 weeks old, she was fussy. The day before i was to do my first urgent care shift, she cried her head off for what seemed like hours. My husband is usually cool, calm and collected when dealing with screaming children, but the night before i was to go to work, he turned to me and said, "It's going to be a f*cking disaster." At this point, i was truly looking forward to working again and so i replied, "You'll figure it out." And indeed he did.

Since then, i have picked up a handful of shifts and it's been good for us all. My husband has become quite saavy with both children. I have seen some interesting cases at urgent care. And i think i'm an easier person to be around. Additionally, i feel like i enjoy my family more. I am reminded of what a delicate balance it is to be away from your family just enough to enjoy them. I certainly wouldn't want to work full time--and i'm still a bit nervous about throwing the baby in daycare at 3 months, but working part-time is good for me, for my brain, for my children and for the family.

Toddler --> Preschooler

Indeed--The toddler is now a preschooler. She created her own guest list and although 3 families and her aunty couldn't come due to puking disease ("That's ok...you can keep those germs far far away."), there were plenty of people to create semi-child chaos. With all the chocolate and sugar and cake flying around the room, i reflected on her first bday when she hadn't had much processed sugar and definately hadn't had candy or chocolate. I had baked an all-fruit, sugar-free cake not only for the baby, but for guests. When i cleaned up the bowls from her 1st bday party, they all contained a full piece of cake with one small bit out of the corner.


This year, we got the cake from lunds and it was 3/4 frosting, 1/4 cake. My daughter didn't have much cake, but she loved the chocolate from the pinata. She has been enjoying the presents--although the biggest one from my parents is in storage. Don't get upset gma and gpa--it's snowing outside and even the italians don't ride their vespas out in the snow.

Speaking of the pinata...I bought an authentic mexican pinata on lake street, but didn't realize how difficult it would be to get into. After the children pushed it around with a baseball bat for a while, my husband took the pinata behind closed doors and we heard the sounds of a saw. It came back with a small laceration on it's abdomen. A few more half-hearted pats with the bat and away it went with my husband and more sawing. After the 3rd time the pinata returned with his whole lower half hanging on a strand for the last child to knock down.

Before:




And after:

The Caucus Is Coming!

I'm sad that Edwards pulled out. According to mpr's website, he was my guy. I also really enjoyed listening to him speak. There is little difference between the remaining two candidates, as far as i can tell. And although race and gender are important things to me--it isn't as important as the media makes it out to be. It will be great to be alive for the first black president or the first woman president, but i believe i was raised to look beyond that. Race and gender definately contribute to character, but can i tell you how sick i am of being asked, "Is america ready for a black/woman president?"

I have a friend who suggests this difference of view is due to age: babyboomers versus gen x (or y). The baby boomers spent their young adult years fighting against gender and race disparities and i thank them for fighting for equal rights and respect the strides they made. I am sure it is amazing to see how things have changed in their lifetime in regards to equality. But what they fought for is for me to look beyond color and gender when voting for the next president. The babyboomer news analysts and experts need to stop stuffing it down my throat. Yes i noticed she's a woman, but what does she think about the war? Yes, he is indeed black, but how will he fix health care?

Some are getting sick of the ramp up to the next election with the prolonged process of earlier primaries/caucuses, but i have to admit i am excited about it all. I think it has caused people who otherwise wouldn't be tuned in pay attention. I had become exhausted with mindless people who care more about their trip to walmart than current events--but i think the media's slutting of the primaries has caused people to tune in and be involved.