Road Trip - Tucson to Grand Canyon

Last saturday, the LissyJo clan flew to tucson to pick up my 94 yr old gma to drive her and her minivan and dog to sidney, MT. Highlights of our short visit to tucson included grandma and grandpa's pool and a newly sewn princess dress, below. Grandma was prepared with her cough drops to stay awake so she could tell my husband how to drive, and her nyquil to "help" her sleep at night.

After 2 short days in tucson, we drove "old grandma" (often corrected by grandma to be 'great grandma') to the s. rim of the grand canyon. On the drive, gma had much advice including taking a shower if she felt she was having a heart attack and walking backwards for altitude sickness.

Amelie was not too impressed with the grandness of the canyon. She guessed it was only "twenty ten" feet to the bottom and was more interested in climbing trees, which made gma nervous.

What a NP/Lactation consultant can do for you

Amelie's new obsession is to ask me about the patients i see at work. Keeping HIPAA in mind, i give her a quick run down of the interesting medical cases i saw that day. Yesterday, i was telling her about a new baby i was seeing for a lactation consult. She asked me, "What did you do for the baby?" I told her, "I helped the baby breastfeed." She considers, then asked, "Did you give the baby some of your breast milk?" A valid question. I didn't, by the way.

All of God's Creatures

Edited: No comment. I neither confirm or deny anything related to squirrels. Period.

Weekend Activities

Spring has sprung here in mpls, and it is the season that i am most thankful for. I can almost feel the heaviness of winter lifting off my shoulders as the days get longer and the ground gets greener. Amelie has also been enjoying spring, as seen below. Here, she is wearing a dress sewn by my mother adjusting for amelie's particulars (NO buttons), the cross necklace of my gma, and the new ducky socks sent by ducky stickered package.

Spring also brings the May Day Parade, which has become a yearly tradition for our family. I appreciate the left-leaning political humor, and amelie enjoys the puppets. I think next year, she'll be old enough to participate. The parade always begins with the ceremonial tree of life, seen below. We did not see the float that could have been the touch of death.

This year, they had a clever swine flu section--One of the more impressive puppets below.

And here we are enjoying an icy pole watching the weird and wonderful parade before us.

Mommy's Adopted

Amelie and i were talking about the (imaginary) twins she is growing in her tummy (they come and go), and she asked me who all came from my tummy. I said her and her sister did, and then she asked me something unexpected: "Did you come from grandma's tummy?" I carefully told her that i was adopted, and that meant i came from someone else's tummy. Of course, she asked, "Whose?" I told her my other mommy couldn't take care of me (cringe) and grandma wanted to take care of me so she is my mom (more cringing). She considered this, in all her 4 yr old-ness and asked me who this other woman was. I told her i didn't know. She let me off the hook.

2 days later, we were reviewing the relatives. I asked her, "Who is daddy's dad?" She answers, "Grandad!" I ask, "Who are mommy's brothers?" She says, "Uncle scott and uncle andrew!" Then she adds, "Isn't it funny how uncle andrew and uncle scott sort of look the same?" I thought her little brain was considering the previous adoption discussion. I asked her, "Do you think mommy looks like uncle scott and andrew?" She says, "No, mommy! Of course not!" I said, "Why not?" She says, "Because you're a girl, mommy!"

Touche.

Strong Woman

So, we found out our team (named by my brother, something like Token Asian) has been accepted for RAGBRAI. I had started training months ago, but now it's on like donkey kong, i have refreshed motivation. I've been riding a lot recently and enjoying all the trails in the twin cities. I feel like i'm a respectful rider; I don't run over the runners, i respect traffic laws and i always say "On your left" when i'm about to pass. I also like to think i'm a smart strong woman when i ride in out-of-the way trails or in the city. I did bike-commute to an inner-city hospital, often times at midnight without a blink of fear. But i'm proactive. I took tae kwan do as a child. I may be small, but i'm strong. And i ride fast. I have an attitude of Don't F With Me when riding at midnight or in out of the way trails.

Recently, i was riding around the crosby lake trails, which are near the river, and sort of hidden. I was on high alert, scanning the brush for rapists, riding at a quick clip, and thinking about how to pimp out my bike with pepper spray. I started coming across walkers, riders, fishermen. Every single one of them would make eye contact with me and either nod their head, smile or say 'hi.' As if to say, "It's perfectly safe to walk these trails. We are minnesotan and we use our trails with confidence and pride."

It made me proud. I'm glad i live in a city that plows their bike trails in winter, supports their trails, and has the most walking/biking trails in the city than any other.

My Little Angel

I can't complain too much--She's smart, outgoing, curious and expressive. But recently, we have been butting heads. I have read plenty of parenting books who tell me it is the job of a 4 yr old to test her boundaries, but i guess i expected a break here and there. As soon as she sees me, she pushes and pushes and pushes. Just doing her job.

I had a 'parenting moment' (as the ecfe mom's group calls it), last week. It started with amelie telling me her hair wasn't pretty. I'm not sure what happened next, but amelie melted into a puddle of tears and frustration. She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't put her shoes on. She wouldn't do a thing. After a series of trying the parenting books' recommendations (I can tell you're frustrated by the way you're smacking my leg. It sounds like you're angry. I cry sometimes too when i don't get my way), i tried a new way including yelling (and swearing!) at her at the top of my lungs. After i yelled, i walked upstairs into my bedroom and closed and locked the door behind me and told amelie, "Mommy needs a time out." All the while, she is following me howling about how her feelings and ears are hurting.

It wasn't pretty.

Since then, i have read a few more parenting books looking for answers. Unfortunately, the majority of parenting books are aimed at people who beat their children and have no clue (Children seek attention from their caregivers--good or bad. Children respond to positive reinforcement better than negative reinforcement. A child may act out if they are hungry). The funny thing is, since then, she has turned a corner and is a complete angel. She keeps reassuring me, "I have good listening ears today, mommy," and "Aren't i doing good with using my words today?"

Steady she goes for now.

H1N1

First of all, i know it's probably early in the course, but you don't have swine flu. Let me repeat: You don't have swine flu. You haven't been to mexico. You don't live near cold springs. You don't even have a fever. So calm the F down.

I don't blame you. A few headlines if i may: Hundreds may die from swine flu. Swine flu takes health community by surprise. Swine flu pandemic imminent. One step from pandemic. I wonder how these headlines help us as a community. Very little has been mentioned regarding how to prevent infection. Wash your hands. Cover your cough. Eat healthy foods and drink water to keep your immune system functioning and stay home when you're sick.

Which leads me to another point. There has been a hindsight shout out in articles about staying home when you're sick. But this isn't the mindset in our culture. It is frowned upon to call in sick to work. This is evidenced by limited sick time, combining sick and vacation time and needing a note from your health care provider if you're "sick" longer than 4 days. This note requires a visit to the clinic and most of the time, people don't need medication. They need to stay home, feed their immune system and stop giving it to all the well child visits in the waiting room. Talk about wasteful healthcare spending.

This is not to undermine the severity of this particular strain. But nothing has confirmed the 'cytokine storm' theory of this particular strain (ie, deaths in the young young, old, and 20-40 yr olds). And the good news is that we have antivirals for this. But you don't need them right now. Because you don't have swine flu. So stop calling me and asking for them.

Famous last words, or wise beyond my years? Time will tell...

BTW: As if we needed another reason to scare the white people about the brown people.
BTW: Michelle Bachmann: You're an F-ing idiot.

Staple of the Neighborhood

Yesterday, our family attended a very casual memorial to an old neighbor who lost his 12 yr battle with cancer recently. Although he had cancer for so long, he was quite healthy, and his deterioration was quick in the end.

Henry wasn't only a wonderful neighbor who would dog and cat sit when we'd go to australia, praise any food i'd cook him and snow blow the whole block, he had wonderful stories of the neighborhood. His house was built by his grandfather and was one of the first in the area. He'd tell us stories of how our neighborhood was formed. He remembers going cow-tipping in the nearby farm, which is now bracket park. He was also a bit of a car junkie and had 2 corvettes he'd tinker with. The very same corvette was used to race down lake street when he was an adolescent. He had a great story of getting chased by the police down an alley. He took a quick turn into a stranger's garage and closed the door just in time for the police man to rumble by. Afraid of starting his loud engine, he sat in his corvette at 3am waiting. Two hours later, he walked his car back home.

He knew our house throughout the years. He was able to explain why some floor boards were put together strangely when we did some remodeling. As a child, he'd come over to our house and lie over a large grate over the furnace. Since that time, someone had repaired the hardwoods (poorly). As a teenager, he also remembered watching young college women who were renting our house at the time, playing topless fooseball in the dining room; His house's kitchen window had a straight shot view.

When i became a nurse at the hospital he was born in, he became my biggest fan. When he'd go to the hospital to get chemo, he'd ask all the nurses if they knew me. Some of them did, and would later tell me that Henry assured them i was keeping a close eye on him. When i learned of this, with much insistance, he did let me change his dressings here and there, but moreover, he let me convince him to get a home health nurse. In the end, he could no longer tolerate the food i'd bring him (and wouldn't admit it could possibly be my cooking!).

He died as he wished: in his home. I'm going to miss him.

Beer

Last night, the hubs and i went to The Muddy Pig. LOVE this pub. It's got a quatrillion local and oversease brews on tap and moderately tasty pub grub. My husband and i used to think we were beer snobs enjoying the beers of australia and england, but the US is creating some fine beers in a grassroots fashion and providing great pubs to serve them. Unlike in britain or australia, where the pubs are owned by one brewer and only serve their 4 brews (true, no?).

Dreams of IA

I am currently training to ride my bike across IA with my husband, brother and father in july. I'm finally in a training groove--enjoying finding different circuits, thinking of milage and heart rates, and really enjoying it. I remember this groove when i trained for a marathon (did not complete, btw). I call it my church (see previous post)--it calms me, gives me time to think of stuff, and i'm a better [NP, mother, wife, person] afterwards.

Blul in the Blog

I almost forgot i had a blog until 'anonymous' commented on an old post about Adoption Stories. She called me a jaded, shallow adoptee. I almost cried.

Kidding of course.

But it brings me to all the religion-related media i've consumed recently. I finished A Year of Living Bibically, by A.J. Jacobs. It was the funniest thing i've read since Sedaris. This agnostic manhatten journalist decides to read The Good Book and follow the rules for 1 yr. From the ridiculous (don't wear mixed fibers) to the admirable (don't lie). An interesting observation he makes is religion is based on faith. And sometimes you have to have a leap of faith even when you don't understand what the rituals (or bible rules) mean.

Last night, we watched Religulous. It was almost the unrelated book in movie style, except Maher is no doubt much more cynical and downright doubtful. His conclusion is the bible is a book written by men and edited poorly. Religion has been used to gain power, money, control and the original message (be good) is lost in the details.

I'd have to agree. Call me jaded.

Milk Maid

Salma Hayek was filmed breastfeeding a hungry baby in Sierra Leonne by ABC news to help lift the stigmatism of breastfeeding in this local culture and crappy stories crop up about breastfeeding (like this one). Referring to mothering.com as "crunchy" and stating ew.com's reaction as "squeamish" when in reality the authors praise salma's breasty move.

On a related note, Facebook is following the "all-but-nips" policy for their pictures, after removing harmless pics of women nursing their babies. BOO, facebook!

What are you, prisoners?

The arguments i find myself getting into with my 4 yr old are trying and exhausting. No longer does distraction or redirection work for her. She demands explanation. She negotiates. She comes up with compelling arguments. And, for some reason, i find myself falling hook, line and sinker for it almost every time. And i get the fact this is the reason her arguments seem to get stronger and stronger on a daily basis. My husband shakes his head at me when he walks in on a complicated discussion about how wearing 5 pairs of underware is not the green thing to do because it wastes water (yes, i know water just comes when we turn on the faucet, but....on and on and on).

I draw the line at hitting. It's always been something that i have emphasized we do not do. In any circumstance. It lead to a deep discussion about how sometimes you feel like hitting when you're frustrated or angry and how can we express these feelings without hurting anyone. So the other day amelie was angry with me for some reason or other and she reared her fist back to hit and stopped Then she said, "I'm SO angry i want to bonk you in the head, but i won't!"

I guess we'd call this progress?

Yesterday, when i dropped amelie off at school, we made a deal she could show her pony to her teacher, but then she'd have to give it to me. When it was time to hand the pony off, she held on to it as tightly as she could and curled her body into a ball around the pony. I said, "Give me the pony." Some other kids were watching and one girl said, "Don't do it, amelie! Don't give it to her." I ignored her and said, "I'm going to count to 5, then it's time to give it to me." The girl went on, "Hold on tight, amelie! DOn't give up!" Me: "1, 2.." The little blonde devil-child: "HOLD on tight!" Me: "3, 4, 5. Give it to me." Some other kids joined in, "If you hold on tight, she'll give up, amelie! Use your muscles!!" I had to tackle amelie to the ground in the middle of a circle of chanting 4 yr olds. As i swipped the pony, i hissed at amelie through gritted teeth, "We do NOT act that way."

So, i blame day care for at least some of her poor behavior.

It's not all that bad. She's totally obsessed with andrea boccelli and sarah brightman. Here's a clip:

Blog, blo, blah, blah

I'm on a blogging blah and don't have a whole lot of profound things to complain about. This doesn't mean i haven't been busy with life.

Amelie turned the big 4 a few weeks ago. We left most of the planning to the bday girl, and she decided on a pajama princess party. She gave us a guest list that included about a dozen friends, most from her school. We also decided to let parents do the ole drop-n-run. All in all, it was a success. The only tears were fleeting when it was realized by few that there were not enough prizes for everyone (Welcome to life, it isn't fair). The kids were well behaved and had a great time. There was only one "You can't tell me what to do, you're not my mom!" moment (which is funny coming from the girl with two dads).

Amelie got a grandmother-made princess dress that was definately the highlight. The picture below is taken from the back, because my mother unknowingly sewed it with a plunging neckline, that exposes her nipples. My mother, who doesn't get bothered by much, called me on two separate occasions to ensure amelie did not leave the house with her nipples showing and made me promise i would put a shirt undernieth until it was fixed.