Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Big Girl Undies

As the start date approaches for my new job as a nurse practitioner, i can feel my feet get cold and my stomach turn somersaults. I had a 'photo shoot' last friday and felt like i was playing pretend. The impostor feeling haunts me as my start day approaches and i have decided i should step up to this role instead of belittling myself, saying i'm only a nurse practitioner or i only came from bedside nursing as medical experience. I have always been a believer that nurses are an independent medical professional, but there is a small part of me that wears all white and a funny hat and only says, "Yes, doctor" and i'm not sure where she came from.

Because i have been in a novice role for quite some time (because i've been in school up until this point, believe it or not), you would think i'd be used to the situation of being a novice. But i have realized that as a nursing student or a new nurse, i was more graceful at embracing and utilizing this role because i was a 'non-traditional' student. Afterall, i was in the graduate school. I was not 19 years old. I was entering the profession with some other experiences under my belt. But as a nurse practitioner, i feel somewhat suspicious that perfect strangers will believe the advice and diagnoses i will propose.

I also can't help but feel like the day i felt before i started high school. I have a new peer group that i'd like to get to know, but i'd like them to believe i'm competent. This is a difficult thing to convince strangers of when i question my own competence. It doesn't help that i'm meeting them while being visibly pregnant. Although i didn't have to start high school visibly pregnant, i have the same teenage worries: Will they like me? What's the culture like? OMG, What should i wear?

One of my old co-workers told me, "It's time for LissyJo to wear big girl undies!" I responded, "...To which i will promptly soil." Just like my first day of high school, my first day as a NP, i will jump in with both feet, a big smile on my face and clean pear of underpants and hope i make it through the day without crying or farting.


Scooter said...

You must wear fruit of the looms. You know...pear...get it? Finished my physical before you start - don't peek at my file. My STDs are my own bidness.

Scooter said...

I drove by the Roasted Pear in Burnsville last night, and it was funny because you said pear of underwear. I laughed and Eryn made me explain. Then I went to Chuck E. Cheese which is a punishment for all the bad things you do, like laughing at your sister.

LissyJo said...

I could trash your comments and edit my post, but i'll leave it be. Sheesh...i'm starting to type like john!

Did eryn get it? The joke? She told me a john-joke when i watched her last week. It went like this:

eryn laughing..
LJ: "What's so funny?"
eryn: "It's the noise."
LJ: "What noise?"
eryn: "BARKING trees!! HAHAHAHAH!"

Scooter said...

She probably learned that from him - she picks up some of his nonsense when he's arouned. She'll probably start buying you Little Mermaid crap for your birthday if she ever figures out he does it.

She did get the humor - she's starting to figure out what I think is funny and why.

Eryn said yesterday that now that she has the Tagalong, she is down with the trike and we should give it to your daughter. I'll try to haul it over this weekend in case you want her to give it a try before winter (sometimes works well, because they keep thinking about it all winter).

PTW said...

If you have to choose one of your two Really Bad Things that might happen, go with crying. It's easily explained by the visible pregnancy and doesn't stink up the room.

You're gonna be great, LissyJo. I know your feet are numb with cold, AND...you are the only one worried. The staff at the clinic already KNOW (as opposed to *think*) you're competent, or they wouldn't have extended the offer.

Eryn did learn the barking trees joke from John:

John: What do dogs and trees have in common?
Eryn: What?
John: The both have bark!
Eryn: That's silly, John.
John: That's GRANDPA John.